Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
