What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
