She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
