we're blogging at a bar
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
