I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
