Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
