I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
