got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
