i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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