bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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