Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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