Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
