I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize