oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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