it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just cropdusted the office
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
