...so i touched it.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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