She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
