bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
