I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
NoShamevember. You game?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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