Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
