This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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