Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
