I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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