My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
