Dual....:-)
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
