It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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