I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
