So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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