The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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