i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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