Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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