Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
