i just google imaged poop.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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