i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
