walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
