Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
