i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
