Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
