the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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