Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
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