hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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