it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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