does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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