Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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