I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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