Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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