I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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