thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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