They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
