nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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