Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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