I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
