There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
