I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
