We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
