Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
