Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
