How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Randomize
