Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
