Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
