Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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