I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
