I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I didn't notice because vodka
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
