watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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