apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
