I can tuck mytits in my pants
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i came on her dog
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
